Recently I’ve received a lot of questions about how I can put myself through a long distance relationship. People are shocked when they realize how long my girlfriend and I have been together, especially as we go through college. College and LDR’s are infamous as a bad mix. There are prone to relationship problems, and despite the naysayers it is definitely possible. Even now, as I’m on the other side of the world I still have eyebrows raised as to how we’re able to do it.
Without question, a long distance relationship takes an incredible amount of work and emotional stamina. It’s exhausting to go through the routine of intense longing, waiting, and burst of excitement from when you see you’re significant other again.
I want you to ignore all of the Buzzfeed articles trying to tell you how to live your life/solve your relationship problems and take a few minutes to read what I have to say. Sustaining my long distance relationship over the past few years has taught me valuable lessons on human relations.
The rule of thumb to solve relationship problems..
Communication. Communication. Communication. Communication. Communication. Communication. Communication…
This is the main word you turn to the next time you’re in an argument with someone. It takes skill to take into account the other persons own wants, needs, and perspective of the world. If you can understand the background of the person you’re talking to, you’ll have a clearer vision about how you should treat the relationship.
Someone has to understand how to diffuse your own insecurities. Skilled listener’s will look you directly at your eyes and will be able to read your emotions. The one’s who are lost in their own dark world will try to bring you down. They’ll let their negative energy overtake you as they drown out your needs with their own desires. If you realize this you’ll be able to understand the root cause for relationship problems.
Avoid Name-calling at all costs
This is such an immature thing to talk about, but yet it still happens in many relationships. You need to keep in mind that once you say certain words, those insults will stay with the other person forever. Even long after you forget about the stupid argument, or why you were angry in the first place, the person you were speaking with will hold those words in the back of their head. This mindset will eventually spill over to future relationship problems and cause turmoil.
The worst part of all is that you can’t do anything to take back those words. They were already spoken, and the other person knows exactly what you think of them. Drop the nonsense all together, listen to the other person, do some research on their background, and avoid cursing out their name.
Name-calling was supposed to go out a style a long time ago. Probably around age 5 or 6? The latest around 10?
Are you that lame?