Recently I attended a High School graduation party for my cousin. I was trying to think of something to write for him in his grad party card; not just a simple “Congrats! -J.”
Before I headed out to the party I remembered what family members told me about him. They said that he’s unsure what
to expect when he moves out for school. I had that same feeling before my freshmen year, but mine was probably worse. I wrote in the card something along the lines of: “You’ll be fine in college, being independent is fun.”
In college, you’ll get a taste of independence. Especially if you live in a dorm, you’ll have the option of meeting all kinds of people. You’ll have to put yourself out there, and there’ll be some people that’ll come and go.
You’ll also get to choose how you want to schedule your time. Your parents won’t be there to wake you up, or remind you to get work done.
But, if you visit home too frequently, you risk losing your independence.
You need to make college your home away from home to stay independent. You can’t keep on calling home if you feel homesick, and you can’t stay cooped up your dorm afraid. I had plenty of weekends at NYU where I wanted to go home. I wanted to get away from it all, I wasn’t used to the environment. My comfort zone was back in California during the school year.
Yeah, I wasn’t used to this…
Fortunately, for me, I couldn’t visit home every weekend. I couldn’t stay homesick.
I live on the other side of the country. I didn’t have the time and money to fly back whenever I needed it. This was a good thing. There were definitely times when I wanted to go home for a weekend, but I got used to it. It forced me to stay clear of my comfort zone. I hung out with the people at NYU, and I explored the city with them. I got to truly live and experience being on my own, without using my home as a safety net.
On this random weekend my teammate and I explored Times Square and acted like tourist attractions. He was the skateboarding banana.
If you visit home every other weekend you spend your Saturday nights trying to relive your high school life instead of making new memories in college. It’s fine to occasionally take some time off to relax, but you can’t truly grow if it becomes a routine thing. Get out there and go meet some people. Push yourself to make an effort, and you won’t feel homesick anymore. College is when you learn to live without relying on your parents.
The key to getting over the feeling of being homesick is to stay busy! Stay productive and start making new connections on your campus. In addition to the fact that I couldn’t afford to fly home every weekend, I was involved with my Cross Country and Track team. In season we have a race every other weekend so I knew I had to focus on that. Eventually, I had no time and energy to be homesick.
If I somehow had the option to go home every weekend, I wouldn’t be able to get close with the people at my school. If you frequently go home on weekends this could potentially make the homesick feeling worse. Think about it. If you use home as a crutch because you’re scared to be independent it’ll hurt you. While you’re heading home, your potential friends are all getting together making memories. Eventually, you’ll get completely out of the loop you’ll just want to transfer or take a semester off.
J